Peer pressure and societal standards are making some students infatuated with love

By: Aliya Karimjee

A gift box with a rose and chocolate hearts. — ( CanCulture/Aliya Karimjee)

As we make our landing in the season of love, single people often feel pressured to enter a relationship and conform to society’s expectations of partnership.

With the popularization of heteronormative nuclear-family relationship standards in media, there’s the misconception that you need a significant other to make you feel “complete and happy.”

Some TMU students and staff feel Valentine's Day is an expensive "trap."

Zorianna Zurba, a faculty member in TMU’s professional communications department with expertise in the philosophy of love, recognizes the pressure around finding love keeps people from building a community.

“Traditionally, we think of Valentine’s Day as romantic love and we don’t acknowledge the other forms of love that can exist,” said Zurba.

Because of this, she adds that some people often rely on one person to meet their emotional needs rather than focus on self-love or friendships.

Amulyaa Dwivedi, a first-year journalism student, explains that her friends peer pressure her to get a boyfriend, holding her back from her journey with self-love. The pressure surrounds her through acquaintances, family members and friends, she said.

As an international student, Dwivedi notes that the salient dating politic that asks us to prioritize romantic ventures above all else is more prominent in Canada—leaving her with a culture shock.

Despite these societal pressures, she tries to remember Miley Cyrus’s new song Flowers and the practice of self-love.

Black squares with lyrics from Miley Cyrus’ song and a confident woman with black sunglasses. — Miley Cyrus’ new song wall art advertising single women empowerment near this Valentine’s season. (CanCulture/Aliya Karimjee)

Dwivedi adds that Flowers “is like a self-love song and a good [addition] to Galentine’s Day.”

Galentine’s Day is typically referred to as a “girls’ night” or a day to spend with friends feeling empowered by celebrating self-love, friendship and the enduring love we derive from being in community with one another.

“I feel like there’s a stigma that being with someone [romantically] is better than being by yourself,” said Agnese Verrone, a third-year politics and governance student.

She said she prefers being with someone she likes enough romantically or her friends, rather than going on a date for the sake of companionship.

Anna-Giselle Funes-Eng, a first-year journalism student, is celebrating Galentine’s Day this year with an ABBA sing-along screening at the Ted Rogers Cinema.

She believes it’s important to celebrate her friends and herself on February 14th rather than have a negative outlook on this day.

“The standard of a relationship is so binary and exclusive. Anyone who doesn’t conform is expected to be sad, wallow… And that’s bullshit,” said Funes-Eng.

For those considered “lucky enough” to be dating, they reveal an equal amount of pressure to arrange a “picture-perfect” Valentine’s Day.

There are a lot of grand gestures seen on social media, “so it puts pressure on my boyfriend or me to do something big,” said first-year nursing student Kirat Sandahar.

Whether you are celebrating Galentine’s Day, Valentine’s Day or practicing self-love, it’s essential to recognize who our true soulmates are and the role community and self-love play in our lives.

By Lauren Kaminski

As Feb. 14 rolls around in Toronto, for some, this celebration of love can become a matter of what gift will best show your gratitude or affection for your significant other.

With this added pressure, some find Valentine’s Day to be just to be another “money-grab” — a capitalist holiday invented to empty the pockets of those in meaningful relationships and insisting that love comes with a price tag.

The idea of spending copious amounts on a gift can seem unattainable for those that are young, broke and in love. Yet, much like the holiday season and birthday celebrations, giving the perfect DIY gift, or planning the perfect night, can be how some couples prefer to show their gratitude.

For Michael Taglioni, the day doesn’t differ from any other, as he finds it’s “just another day to appreciate your significant other,” he explained.

Taglioni plans to make his girlfriend an “exploding box.” This project features a greeting card in a box, and when the lid is lifted, the walls of the box fall down with pictures, notes, and mementos lining the sides. When opened, it reveals 4 different layers that ‘explode.’

While Taglioni wants to maintain a DIY approach to the holiday, he also plans to surprise his girlfriend with flowers and a necklace enclosed in the box.

“I was thinking about doing just dinner with Emma, but I decided that I want to make her something she’d really remember,” he said.

The new couple has still made plans for the 14th at La Bettola Di Terroni for dinner, a Toronto Southern Italian restaurant where they met for the first time, as well as a hotel room. Recognizing the corporation-driven nature of the holiday, the 25-year-old still acknowledges the value of showing devotion to one’s partner.

“It’s nice to shower someone with love and gifts,” he said.

This creative outlook on Valentine’s Day doesn’t differ for those in long-term relationships.

Cyreena Prasad met her boyfriend of three years, Joshua Gordon-Hinds, in high school, and after a couple of years of friendship, they made it official.

After finding crafty inspiration on Pinterest, Prasad decided to make a little box of her boyfriend’s favourite things including candy, socks, and video games.

“It lets me get him gifts with an excuse,” she said.

As for Prasad, being in a long-term relationship has not changed her idea of Valentine's Day as “he treats me so well every day of the year so it doesn’t really make a whole difference,” she said.

Prasad explained that she still enjoys celebrating Valentine’s Day for the quality time together.

“I just love spending time with him and doing fun things.”

Despite being in a relationship or not, in recent years it seems that the day of love has shifted meaning to a broader appreciation of all the ways we can experience love.

“Galentine’s Day”, a nonofficial holiday first dubbed by character Leslie Knope in the television series Parks and Recreation, acknowledges love outside of romantic partners.

For Dini Bryant, a 29-year-old nurse and Brock University graduate, every Valentine’s Day her and a group of single friends head to downtown Toronto and go out drinking, usually on the hunt for some good live music.

“When you’re single, your friends are your makeshift boyfriend,” said Bryant.

Bryant’s group would do fun eyeshadow looks fitting the holiday, and dress up in pink and red outfits. They would only settle for bars with live music, accompanied by the perfect decorations like strung up heart lights and cupid cut-outs.

Bryant sees the value in celebrating the holiday with those you love, regardless of being romantically involved.

“Friends are your support system, the people who are always there for you and that should be recognized on Valentine’s Day too,” she said.